Rambling thoughts from a walk

I get it. I do. There is a difference between I get to and I have to.

But sometimes I get to, feels like I have to.

I want to, feels like I need to.

I should be doing this right now turns into doing things you'd much rather do but know ultimately have no purpose, no meaning.

Other than that they bring you joy, peace, calmness in a world always on the go. And hey you get distracted. I do.

Because it's easy to get distracted.

At least for me.

But staying focused on what's truly important. When you say it like that it should be easy.

But it's not. Not always anyway.

For myself, when I look back on the seasons where I really dug in, focused, got dirty doing the things I didn't really feel like but did anyway.

Man did it feel great seeing the product, the end result, the fruit.

But here's the thing...

A lot of the time now the fruit isn't seen as immediately, as quickly, there may actually be a point when I don't get to see or enjoy the fruits of my labors.

Why? Well, because that's life.

I know, I know.

I sound like a parent.

But guess what I am.

And hey even if I wasn't I'd probably still be saying the same thing eventually.

Because I'm older, wiser, nahhhhh

and a little bit yes.

Life has a way of doing that to you.

Especially if you are blessed with being able to reflect, slow down, think things through. Digest all you have experienced.

But that my friends requires doing so....

And sometimes I don't want to.

I'm ready for the next whatever it is on the horizon.

But I am learning to stop and slow down, be present when I feel like that because usually it means magnificent moments are happening.

Moments I can't get back, no matter how many pictures, videos, sniffs, hugs, etc you name it. No matter what I do the moments go.

And they are steadily getting faster.

Now don't get me wrong there are definitely moments when it absolutely feels like time is crawling or whatever slower than that is.

But anyway...all that to say.

I'm so grateful. For this life I have lived. For the life I am living. For the people I have met along the way.

For those who I still think about from time to time fondly. I love you. I do.

Mostly, I am grateful for time.

Right now, being able to write, think, eat, walk, sleep and be alone. Just for a bit.

So I can go back.

Keep living, loving, laughing, growing, eating, playing, whispering, running, doing all the things I am able to. Learning new things as I go along. About myself, others, about life.

Grateful.

The end.....

P.S. this was not the walk where thoughts were had....this was a bike ride and Lucas on a scooter. Where my brain powers were put into keeping my offspring alive. My walk today was alone and being unencumbered my brain was able to use it's powers....